The Art Snob Archive

Sweatsuit - March 17/06

Nelly Had It Right All Along
How the Grey Sweatsuit Could Change Your Life

Dearest readers of Imprint, it appears that your favourite columnist is under fire! No, not the sexually-enlightened Russell Cole, but I, your noble messenger of pretentiousness, your prophet of cultural refinery, the man (the boy) they call the “arts snob”.

Bludgeoned by hate mail, drowned in angry sentiment, I have fought through the worst to write to you this week. I am not discouraged, however, so do not fear; the arts snob thrives on upsetting people, forcing them to react. See, for example, last week’s column on sex and car crashes.

Alas, there has been some concern lately that my column can appeal only to upper-crust rich kids who can afford “designer jeans” and “gourmet lattes”. Many are worried that the majority of you out there with your pajama pants and library cards have no hope of ever fitting into a fashionable intellectual culture, but I am here to assure you that such notions are nonsense! Oh underprivileged readers, it is by no means necessary to own an engraved pocket watch and Ben Sherman jacket to be an arts snob! There are plenty of options for the restricted wallet, one of which I will examine today.

In 2004, a group of artists in Toronto decided that they were going to reject the idea that a person’s personality is determined by their fashion sense by rejecting fashion altogether. They would confine themselves to a generic and nondescript type of clothing and wear it everyday, without fail. This was the humble beginning of what was to become “The Grey Sweatsuit Revolution,” an international movement dedicated to interrupting the cannibalistic forces of consumer society, the very forces the arts snob must avoid! These forces have crushed any attempt at differentiation by adopting rebellion into the mainstream: “Look at trucker hats. Artists rip off the blue-collar worker because it’s cheap, edgy, ironic, kitsch, whatever. Subsequently the fashion system rips off the artists. Thanks for coming out rebel! What’s next? Cow shit covered boots?”

The Revolution is based around the idea that limiting your identity to grey sweat pants and a grey sweat shirt will leave you rejuvenated. It is much more than a simple rejection of fashion: it is an attack on superficiality and complacency. The Revolution’s manifesto, posted on www.thegreysweatsuitrevolution.com, indicates that: “the ultimate rebellion is to be generic and very comfortable. F**k using clothes as a form of expression. Think of something more valid, like what you do with your time or what you have to say. See what happens when your clothes don’t speak for you. Oh shit! How will I be cool? Maybe I’ll have to participate in something…”

Essentially, the grey sweatsuit becomes an icon for the avant-garde. This cheap, plain, and uninteresting outfit acts as a vehicle for rebellion, a “Trojan horse” ready to destroy the fashion industry from the inside: “Our symbolism spreads like anthrax across the anorexic bodies of fashionistas everywhere! They look frantically for the next trend but there is nothing. Only grey sweatsuits.”

The Revolution has spread rapidly out of Toronto, with loyal followers sending the website photographs of their sweatsuit allegiance from as far as Switzerland, Greece, and India. Exhibitions and conferences are held at such places as the Nova Scotia College of Art and Design and the Museum of Contemporary Canadian Art. The organizers encourage the holding of grey sweatsuit “socials, parties and parades” as a means of celebrating the uniform of this new ideology. They speak of time in terms of “Pre-Sweatsuit Era” and demand that, if the grey sweatsuit isn’t cohesive with your lifestyle, you must “Change your lifestyle, change your life!”

It seems obvious, then, that all that is required to make a statement, to be important, to subscribe to an ideology not shared by the majority, to truly be an arts snob, is a grey sweatsuit. There is no need for finely-tailored dress shirts and expensive imported shoes; one does not need an extensive wardrobe to be considered an intellectual. The grey sweatsuit offers a much more powerful statement than any sort of fancy scarf and corduroy jacket ever could.

So to all of you people out there who are already coming to class everyday in grey sweatpants, despite the social stigma, I salute you! You are on the cutting edge of not only an important arts movement, but are also contributing to the very destruction of fashion as we know it! Bravo, I say, bravo, and keep up the good work!

posted by HLL @ Friday, March 24, 2006