The Art Snob Archive

Decembrists - Dec 1 2006

For the typical UW art snob, the month of December is always a time of heartache. An intense, passionate relationship with Dana Porter fostered during the exam period will end abruptly, with the art snob torn violently away from his mistress as the holiday break begins.

He will retreat from the campus a broken man. At night, he will dream of study carrols and weathered book spines, waking often in a sweat and struggling to fall back to sleep through the tears.

His agony will only intensify as December the 25^th approaches. On that infamous day, he will be forced to remember, as all art snobs must, the tragic passing of Romanian artist and poet Tristan Tzara. This year marks the 43^rd anniversary of the founder of the ‘Dada’ movement’s death; he remains one of the most revered figures in art, in spite of the anti-art philosophy that made him famous. Plus, Tzara was totally doing the emo cut before it became fashionable (honestly, search his name on Wikipedia).

On the 31^st of December, the art snob will sigh as he realizes another year has ended, with his intellectual soul drifting further away from the past he reveres. Deeper and deeper he falls into a future of short attention spans and Paris Hilton demigods, losing sight of a time when Universities were filled with elitists and the streets were paved in cobblestone.

Every holiday season, the arts snob must fight to fill a massive void in his heart. The good news is that this year might not be so bad.

For one, Montreal band The Dears are scheduled to play the Starlight Lounge on December the 9^th. Perhaps Murray Lightburn, with his Morrissey-like voice, will help the art snob by administering the healing power of Canadian indie rock.

On another front, Sufjan Stevens has released a compilation of holiday music in a 5-disc set entitled “Songs for Christmas.” In his fantastic brand of pop folk music, Stevens pulls from a multitude of influences, ranging from Jazz pianist Vince Guaraldi to academic minimalist Steve Reich. His interpretations of Silent Night and Little Drummer Boy are a godsend for those tasteful few who were terrified by the prospect of Il Divo and Mariah Carey monopolizing Christmas music.

On December 15^th, McSweeney’s will publish “The Berlin Years”, a collection of prints by Winnipeg artist Marcel Dzama. This book is a must for the weakened, desperate art snob, with Dzama’s delightful ink portraits of lions engaging in knife fights able to combat the ghosts of a tortured mind.

The art snob will also be able to keep occupied by attending a series of gallery exhibits throughout the holiday season, reaffirming the fact that, despite the emotional weight that accompanies Tzara’s death-day anniversary, artists around the world continue to create. Of particular interest to UW students, the Society of Fine Arts continues its exhibition of student ceramic works at the Artery Gallery in Kitchener until December 14^th. On December 5^th, East Campus Hall will host The Light at the End of the Tunnel, an evening event featuring film screenings and DJ performances. For the hungry art snob, it is important to notice that the latter event offers “free treats.”

This year, it seems, December may actually be a time of joy and happiness, as opposed to the usual tragedy and heartache. Dear readers, do not despair over Dana Porter…you can return to her in January. Keep busy! But never forget Tzara. Never. Godspeed this holiday season.

posted by HLL @ Saturday, December 02, 2006